I can only assume that your cross-country trek at rush hour is to show all of us working folk how fitness conscious you are. I only assume that because only a moron would decide to ride a cross-country performance bicycle during rush hour on the main streets. I have to say, your nice tight speedo ass is just what I wanted to see as I was cruising at 45 mph to get to work in a business-zoned area and had to suddenly change lanes (because I'm a nice guy). You do realize that in the world of today you have a lot of balls to assume people will see you on your $2000 custom-made bicycle and change lanes. I am glad you're wearing a helmet though. I'm sure that'll cut down on injuries when you're hit from behind by a 2 ton vehicle travelling at 45 mph. At least you'll look fit at the wake, assuming there's anything left of you to view.
Here's an idea. Just throwing this one out there. Why not jog in place in your living room until about 9:30 and then take a ride? Actually, I guess that would cancel out your egotistical machinations. I do have to say, you do provide me with hours of fantastical fantasies about what I could do to you. I would just love to slow down, pull along side of you, smile and swerve. I don't want to hurt you (that much), just embarrass you as you hit the curb and fall down in front of all of those "crazies" that actually work. I know, that's a little mean but I have a lot of time on my hands to ponder life and natural selection. What really bugs me is that you probably get plenty of dates with those rugged good looks and toned body. If only the women you pander to knew that you were just what Darwin would tell them not to procreate with. I'm sure your children will end up getting struck by a car one day and you'll sue the driver. "How dare they drive a car on a road!" you'll think to yourself. I'm sure your egotistical nature will also ponder why someone would target your dear genius, beautiful, talented child. When, in fact, they did the world a favor. It'd get rid of a long line of jackasses...stop the gene pool now, that's my motto. You and your offspring probably wouldn't survive in any other century. Thanks to the modern state of consciousness (or unconsciousness, as it be) you're the top of the social chain. You're liberal and green and a recycling fanatic. You get a non-toxic tan and buy only recycled goods.
A warning to your other friends (you like to run in packs of like-minded idiots sometimes)...you make for a bigger target. I can swerve out of the lane for one, but when your idiot pack decides to go for a group ride it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Yeah, I may miss you but there's always that ultra-moron that straggles from the pack of bicyclists with a dumb look on their face that says "Hey! Look at me! I'm outside of the lane!" Next thing you know, your dumb pal hears the EMS people say "Yeah, this one here was showboating outside of the pack."
Moral: Buy a stationary bike jackasses...or, what a crazy idea, ride during NON-RUSH HOUR in a non-business zoned area.
Here's an idea. Just throwing this one out there. Why not jog in place in your living room until about 9:30 and then take a ride? Actually, I guess that would cancel out your egotistical machinations. I do have to say, you do provide me with hours of fantastical fantasies about what I could do to you. I would just love to slow down, pull along side of you, smile and swerve. I don't want to hurt you (that much), just embarrass you as you hit the curb and fall down in front of all of those "crazies" that actually work. I know, that's a little mean but I have a lot of time on my hands to ponder life and natural selection. What really bugs me is that you probably get plenty of dates with those rugged good looks and toned body. If only the women you pander to knew that you were just what Darwin would tell them not to procreate with. I'm sure your children will end up getting struck by a car one day and you'll sue the driver. "How dare they drive a car on a road!" you'll think to yourself. I'm sure your egotistical nature will also ponder why someone would target your dear genius, beautiful, talented child. When, in fact, they did the world a favor. It'd get rid of a long line of jackasses...stop the gene pool now, that's my motto. You and your offspring probably wouldn't survive in any other century. Thanks to the modern state of consciousness (or unconsciousness, as it be) you're the top of the social chain. You're liberal and green and a recycling fanatic. You get a non-toxic tan and buy only recycled goods.
A warning to your other friends (you like to run in packs of like-minded idiots sometimes)...you make for a bigger target. I can swerve out of the lane for one, but when your idiot pack decides to go for a group ride it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Yeah, I may miss you but there's always that ultra-moron that straggles from the pack of bicyclists with a dumb look on their face that says "Hey! Look at me! I'm outside of the lane!" Next thing you know, your dumb pal hears the EMS people say "Yeah, this one here was showboating outside of the pack."
Moral: Buy a stationary bike jackasses...or, what a crazy idea, ride during NON-RUSH HOUR in a non-business zoned area.
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